Where Are All the Children?
I don’t see children playing outside these days. Not even in rural areas. On sunny, snowy winters, I’d expect to see children out sledding, building snow forts, or skating. In the summers, I wonder why I don’t see children out playing kick the can, or any of the myriad of other games children create when they get together. I’m not the only one who has noticed this. My adult friends say the same.
I’ve seen more elderly and middle-aged people outdoors—sledding, flying down a hill, laughing, arms in the air, and then trudging back up the hill, their skin looking healthily flushed, faces open with smiles. I’ve seen middle-aged men out playing with a remote control toy airplane. You could tell from their body language they were having fun.
In my youth, kids went outside after school. We were physically very active and healthy. We learned through each other the rules of fair play. We became concerned about changes in our neighborhood that affected our playing fields. We gained in coordination and self-sufficiency skills. When we wanted to build a fort, that meant learning to use hammers and saws. We became aware of wildlife. We also learned about each other’s families—who had a fun family life and who didn’t. In and out of each other’s houses all the time, we got exposed to other families’ foods, cultures, aesthetics, and their ups and downs.
When one of us complained, “I’m bored,” mothers usually said, “Go outside.” The wisdom was that once outside, something would intrigue us. We’d find our interest. We’d create interest.
True, we lived in a safe neighborhood. We heeded parental warnings about not accepting gifts from strangers, taking a ride from strangers, or wandering beyond prescribed boundaries. And we didn’t travel or play alone. Most of us had mothers at home, or there were elderly people who watched us from their windows and kept an eye on us, I suppose. We did sometimes get into trouble—a bicycle accident that resulted in a broken collar bone, or we’d get splinters. We all know that children don’t have a good sense of their vulnerabilities, and sometimes they do get very injured, or worse, die from accidents, but statistically, that is rare.
Where are the children these days? In my experience as a therapist, I hear that children are most concerned about getting x-boxes, or computer games. Parents tell me that children have televisions in their bedrooms. Kids collect cards for games that relate to computers, not outdoor activities like baseball. Many parents themselves are on computers not just at work, but when they get home. And when parents talk about getting exercise, they’re going to a gym, not outdoors. Of course, that is not a rule, but a trend.
Childhood obesity is now a national problem. The risk of diabetes has risen in all sectors of society due to obesity. Lack of exercise must certainly be a contributing factor.
Loneliness in all sectors of society is also on the rise. There is very good evidence that people have a need for friends and the resulting sense of community to feel good about themselves and do well in studies and work, and also to survive times of personal stress (Osterman, 2000). If children aren’t playing with other children at school on the playground, or after school, and not visiting each other’s houses, they’re not learning how to make friends, how to develop rules of fair play, or even how to create games on their own, which by inference means learning how to create a meaningful life. Someone else—some company with a new computer toy—is creating meaning for us. Parents aren’t even sending kids off to summer camps for any length of time now. The trend is for day camps or a few overnights (Warner, 2006). Perhaps we’re seeing effects of anxious first-time parents or one-child only parents?
There are places where it is not safe to allow children to play outdoors, and attentive community leaders who notice this may make indoor spaces where kids can gather. Environments with guns, drugs, and pimps obviously aren’t save places for children. However, I wonder about the lack of connection people have with the outdoors and with nature. I’ve met adults who believe trees are dead in winter, because they don’t have leaves on them. I’ve read about adults who believe that earthworms are dirty and disgusting, who don’t recognize just how important they are for soil health. As one person said in a New York Times Article, “"Lawns have ticks and disease and worms and stuff. … This way, it's safe and sterile. It's a cleaner area for the children to play. I love nature and I love grass, but I don't want my family exposed to disease." (Kilgannon, 2005). Too bad she doesn’t recognize that the worms and microbes in the soil actually would digest many toxins or harmful microbes to people that arise from stuff people trudge in on the bottoms of their shoes. The natural world for them has become not a place of wonder, but of fear.
This essay is not one with answers, but questions. If you have children, do you send them outside to play? If not, why not? I’d love to hear from you.
Kilgannon, Corey. (Nov. 27, 2005). For some, grass is greener where there isn’t any. The New York Times.
Osterman, Karen F. (fall 2000). Students’ need for belonging in the school community. Review of educational research, 70(3):323-367.
Warner, Judith. (July 20, 2006). Loosen the apron strings. The New York Times.
I’ve seen more elderly and middle-aged people outdoors—sledding, flying down a hill, laughing, arms in the air, and then trudging back up the hill, their skin looking healthily flushed, faces open with smiles. I’ve seen middle-aged men out playing with a remote control toy airplane. You could tell from their body language they were having fun.
In my youth, kids went outside after school. We were physically very active and healthy. We learned through each other the rules of fair play. We became concerned about changes in our neighborhood that affected our playing fields. We gained in coordination and self-sufficiency skills. When we wanted to build a fort, that meant learning to use hammers and saws. We became aware of wildlife. We also learned about each other’s families—who had a fun family life and who didn’t. In and out of each other’s houses all the time, we got exposed to other families’ foods, cultures, aesthetics, and their ups and downs.
When one of us complained, “I’m bored,” mothers usually said, “Go outside.” The wisdom was that once outside, something would intrigue us. We’d find our interest. We’d create interest.
True, we lived in a safe neighborhood. We heeded parental warnings about not accepting gifts from strangers, taking a ride from strangers, or wandering beyond prescribed boundaries. And we didn’t travel or play alone. Most of us had mothers at home, or there were elderly people who watched us from their windows and kept an eye on us, I suppose. We did sometimes get into trouble—a bicycle accident that resulted in a broken collar bone, or we’d get splinters. We all know that children don’t have a good sense of their vulnerabilities, and sometimes they do get very injured, or worse, die from accidents, but statistically, that is rare.
Where are the children these days? In my experience as a therapist, I hear that children are most concerned about getting x-boxes, or computer games. Parents tell me that children have televisions in their bedrooms. Kids collect cards for games that relate to computers, not outdoor activities like baseball. Many parents themselves are on computers not just at work, but when they get home. And when parents talk about getting exercise, they’re going to a gym, not outdoors. Of course, that is not a rule, but a trend.
Childhood obesity is now a national problem. The risk of diabetes has risen in all sectors of society due to obesity. Lack of exercise must certainly be a contributing factor.
Loneliness in all sectors of society is also on the rise. There is very good evidence that people have a need for friends and the resulting sense of community to feel good about themselves and do well in studies and work, and also to survive times of personal stress (Osterman, 2000). If children aren’t playing with other children at school on the playground, or after school, and not visiting each other’s houses, they’re not learning how to make friends, how to develop rules of fair play, or even how to create games on their own, which by inference means learning how to create a meaningful life. Someone else—some company with a new computer toy—is creating meaning for us. Parents aren’t even sending kids off to summer camps for any length of time now. The trend is for day camps or a few overnights (Warner, 2006). Perhaps we’re seeing effects of anxious first-time parents or one-child only parents?
There are places where it is not safe to allow children to play outdoors, and attentive community leaders who notice this may make indoor spaces where kids can gather. Environments with guns, drugs, and pimps obviously aren’t save places for children. However, I wonder about the lack of connection people have with the outdoors and with nature. I’ve met adults who believe trees are dead in winter, because they don’t have leaves on them. I’ve read about adults who believe that earthworms are dirty and disgusting, who don’t recognize just how important they are for soil health. As one person said in a New York Times Article, “"Lawns have ticks and disease and worms and stuff. … This way, it's safe and sterile. It's a cleaner area for the children to play. I love nature and I love grass, but I don't want my family exposed to disease." (Kilgannon, 2005). Too bad she doesn’t recognize that the worms and microbes in the soil actually would digest many toxins or harmful microbes to people that arise from stuff people trudge in on the bottoms of their shoes. The natural world for them has become not a place of wonder, but of fear.
This essay is not one with answers, but questions. If you have children, do you send them outside to play? If not, why not? I’d love to hear from you.
Kilgannon, Corey. (Nov. 27, 2005). For some, grass is greener where there isn’t any. The New York Times.
Osterman, Karen F. (fall 2000). Students’ need for belonging in the school community. Review of educational research, 70(3):323-367.
Warner, Judith. (July 20, 2006). Loosen the apron strings. The New York Times.
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